Sedated Joy

After weeks and weeks of faith and endurance, it is with sedated joy that I will walk into the infusion center for my last chemo tomorrow!  A day that I have been waiting for, a day that I expected to be full of joy and celebration, however this happy and momentous day has been diluted with tears because my beloved Kirby Sheepdog’s health took a sudden turn for the worse this week.  Her silly and lovely spirit has been squelched practically overnight by a large tumor which has left her listless and ill.  My overall gratitude has been smothered with sorrow and my smile has been washed away with tears these last couple of days.  Instead of planning a chemo party, my thoughts have been focused on the thought of having to put her down; something that I did not plan on for several more years.

Just as quickly as I fill my body with glasses of water which will help to plump up my veins for tomorrow’s needle, the water exits out my eyes into a damp and crumpled tissue.  And these last couple of days that would normally be devoted to my ‘to do list’ has shifted to eeking out every bit of time with her; sitting beside her; just petting her and telling her what a wonderful dog she is.

Today we said goodbye to her.  After these 4 days of unrest, she seemed ready and she went peacefully.  She was such a wonderful dog and every quirky moment of hers brought us laughter and joy.  She became a part of our family over 10 years ago.  She watched the school kids go by in Napa, she spent endless hours of exploring in Hooper Meadows, and she aged gracefully in Sonoma.  I know her spirit is currently lounging on a big piece of cool carpet and she has a buffet of all you can eat popcorn.  I love you Kirby.

napa-porch

snow

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4 Responses to “Sedated Joy”

  1. mike Says:

    we love you kirby…

  2. Darcy Says:

    I know how truly hard this is. Our dogs are family members. My prayers are with you both.

  3. Melissa Says:

    My heart is broken for you. I’m so sorry for the loss of your beloved Kirby.

  4. Terri Says:

    I am so sorry to hear about Kirby.

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