Ask.

The topic of what not to say has been discussed in months past, but I think it’s also important to share my perspective of what is ok to say. (Thank you Jenny for reminding me of this topic!)

Last weekend I braved a crowd of hundreds of semi-familiar faces, some of whom I know by face, some by name and many are good friends.  I was once again branching out into new territory with only a small safety net of a little hat plunked onto my head and it was kind of scary.  The day was full of smiles, conversations and hugs and I survived my initial insecurity just fine, but a thought struck me on the way home.  Out of the 600+ people that passed by me, not one asked me why I was bald.  In one sense, I was thankful that everyone went about their business without giving me any noticeable second look, but the other half of me kind of felt like many were pretending that the “pink elephant” wasn’t in the room. My dear Vicki said it best when Mike and I came back from a quick zip in her beautiful convertible Mercedes; “Mike drove so fast it blew Megan’s hair off!”  Her witty comment accomplished 3 things; 1) it was really funny, 2) she acknowledged “the elephant” and 3) she let the small crowd of people gathered around know that my topic was not taboo.

Most acquaintances now know of my diagnosis and treatments but some still don’t and for those that don’t I just wanted them to come up to me and say, “Hey, do you mind me asking why you don’t have any hair?” I would have welcomed that question. By no means am I saying that the focus is always on me and my situation, but what I am trying to say is that I think it’s ok to ask someone about their situation, whether you are getting to know them at a party or standing behind them in a grocery line.  I’m fairly certain that all of the women in my BC group would agree.

But I feel the need to empower you with just a little bit more if you decide to take that question out into the world, because if they say “cancer/chemo treatments” than what are you going to say to that response.  Please don’t say, “Oh.” and then stand there awkwardly.  Don’t say “Oh, my ____ died of that same cancer but I’m sure you’ll be fine.”

Just come up with something short, sincere and with a smile, “My ___  just finished with chemo and I’ve learned a lot through her experience.” Or “You look beautiful bald.” Or say, “I had cancer too and I’m proud of you for being so strong in the face of something new.”

{Me & baby Luke last wknd.  I could nibble on his cuteness all day long!}

me and luke

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